Reflections on our UK holiday

Trekking with Tom

I recently returned from a 3.5-week holiday to England and Scotland with the family. The excuse was my mate Tom's wedding in northern England: he'd previously travelled to my wedding and only stayed 3 days! We tacked on a
proper holiday...

We hired a car and loved exploring the rolling green hills of the UK: first in NW England, then in Scotland for two weeks, and then in southern England. For Heather and Isabel, it was so exciting to experience what they'd only read in books or seen on TV. Ava also loved the new places and people, although her poor little feet didn't always cope with the cold.

Philosophical musings
However, rather than simply recount the highlights of our travels (and there will be some of that), I'm taking a small digression to be a little more philosophical. I've been thinking about the question: what does it mean for a holiday to be particularly 'special', 'meaningful' or 'memorable'?

Is the 'best' holiday spending the most time doing what's important to you (goal-centred)?
Or is it more about your attitude and less about what you actually did (mindset-focused)?
Or could it be about the person you've become that is most important (character-based)?
Furthermore, should the impact on those you travel with and meet also be considered?

Character-forming holidays
While each of these factors are important, upon reflection I think that the character-based measure is the most fundamental. If this is the case, then this could radically change the way we go 'on holiday'.

Our destinations and activities becomes secondary to the effect they're likely to have on our character and the characters of those around us.

The beautiful Scottish outdoors

Of course we still need to make decisions about where to go and what to do, but instead framed by the question 'how could this decision affect my character and the character of those around me?' The places and activities we choose could be deliberately out of our comfort zone to stretch and widen our perspective.

While on holiday, it may be useful from time-to-time to reflect on its character-impact and adjust our activities and/or mindset if required. Given the deception of our minds when it comes to our own nobility, an honest travelling partner would be particularly valuable.

The intent of this is not to be legalistic, but instead to recognise that holidays have an impact on us. The normal rules of character development still apply while we're in holiday-mode. Perhaps even more so because we have so much flexibility, so many decisions to make, and we're often outside our normal spheres.

A Christian perspective

Ava the party animal

This way of character-based thinking aligns naturally with the Christian worldview. For a follower of Jesus, life is about becoming more like him - aligning personal character to the qualities Jesus demonstrated. Holidays can be a special opportunity for this.

The accounts of Jesus' life surprisingly portray him as a bit of a party animal - remember the whole turning water into wine episode..? He loved to have meals with all sorts of interesting people and he even had a reputation amongst some as being a glutton and a drunkard!

He also prioritised rest. He would travel in remote places, withdraw from the crowds from time-to-time, and observe the intent of the Sabbath day rest without being a slave to it. If holidays for the Christian are modelled on Jesus, then they would never be one-dimensional, boring or slavishly busy.

However they would also be other-person focussed, generous to those in need, intolerant of injustice, and maintaining high standards of personal integrity.

Character formation in the UK
So if I asked this question of the recent holiday our family took to the UK, what would I say?

Brrrggghhh... cold!!

The fundamental character development in me would have been putting the needs and desires of my family ahead of my own. Having travelled in Europe on my own before, it was much less about efficiently ticking off tourist sites and more about adapting plans to best suit the varying priorities and energy levels of our travelling party.

As a result, we finished the holiday in good spirits, having had positive experiences, despite not necessarily doing as much as we all might have liked. Interestingly, I feel much better after this 3.5-week holiday with my wife and two daughters than I did after a month in central Europe on my own. Perhaps there's something about the power of shared experiences as well as the wisdom of my wife about what is realistic and beneficial!

This trip was also quite relationship-focussed, given the opportunity to catch up with some family and friends living in the UK. The original incentive for the trip was a wedding, and I was fortunate to spend some extra time with the bride and groom both before and after the wedding.

Kat & Isabel in ice-cream heaven

We also spent several days living with good friends Harry and Sarah and their two kids. Observing Harry's servant-hearted fathering had a significant impact on me.

Finally, attending a performance of Les Miserables with 14yr old Isabel and my sister Katrina was incredibly impacting to observe Jean Valjean risk his own life for the sake of his 'adopted daughter' Cosette.

Longer-term impacts
It's difficult to tell at this stage whether these events will result in significant long-term character development. I guess in some respects it depends on how much I determine to ingrain these insights into my lifestyle and value-set.

Whatever the case, this holiday has provided an opportunity to grow as a person. I hope that subsequent holidays will be even more intentional about opening up avenues for character development. This could look quite different from holiday to holiday. However, if this priority is firmly in focus, then I trust that even through 'leisure' these can be times of increased awareness, intentionality and satisfaction.