Reflections on our UK holiday

Trekking with Tom

I recently returned from a 3.5-week holiday to England and Scotland with the family. The excuse was my mate Tom's wedding in northern England: he'd previously travelled to my wedding and only stayed 3 days! We tacked on a
proper holiday...

We hired a car and loved exploring the rolling green hills of the UK: first in NW England, then in Scotland for two weeks, and then in southern England. For Heather and Isabel, it was so exciting to experience what they'd only read in books or seen on TV. Ava also loved the new places and people, although her poor little feet didn't always cope with the cold.

Philosophical musings
However, rather than simply recount the highlights of our travels (and there will be some of that), I'm taking a small digression to be a little more philosophical. I've been thinking about the question: what does it mean for a holiday to be particularly 'special', 'meaningful' or 'memorable'?

Is the 'best' holiday spending the most time doing what's important to you (goal-centred)?
Or is it more about your attitude and less about what you actually did (mindset-focused)?
Or could it be about the person you've become that is most important (character-based)?
Furthermore, should the impact on those you travel with and meet also be considered?

Character-forming holidays
While each of these factors are important, upon reflection I think that the character-based measure is the most fundamental. If this is the case, then this could radically change the way we go 'on holiday'.

Our destinations and activities becomes secondary to the effect they're likely to have on our character and the characters of those around us.

The beautiful Scottish outdoors

Of course we still need to make decisions about where to go and what to do, but instead framed by the question 'how could this decision affect my character and the character of those around me?' The places and activities we choose could be deliberately out of our comfort zone to stretch and widen our perspective.

While on holiday, it may be useful from time-to-time to reflect on its character-impact and adjust our activities and/or mindset if required. Given the deception of our minds when it comes to our own nobility, an honest travelling partner would be particularly valuable.

The intent of this is not to be legalistic, but instead to recognise that holidays have an impact on us. The normal rules of character development still apply while we're in holiday-mode. Perhaps even more so because we have so much flexibility, so many decisions to make, and we're often outside our normal spheres.

A Christian perspective

Ava the party animal

This way of character-based thinking aligns naturally with the Christian worldview. For a follower of Jesus, life is about becoming more like him - aligning personal character to the qualities Jesus demonstrated. Holidays can be a special opportunity for this.

The accounts of Jesus' life surprisingly portray him as a bit of a party animal - remember the whole turning water into wine episode..? He loved to have meals with all sorts of interesting people and he even had a reputation amongst some as being a glutton and a drunkard!

He also prioritised rest. He would travel in remote places, withdraw from the crowds from time-to-time, and observe the intent of the Sabbath day rest without being a slave to it. If holidays for the Christian are modelled on Jesus, then they would never be one-dimensional, boring or slavishly busy.

However they would also be other-person focussed, generous to those in need, intolerant of injustice, and maintaining high standards of personal integrity.

Character formation in the UK
So if I asked this question of the recent holiday our family took to the UK, what would I say?

Brrrggghhh... cold!!

The fundamental character development in me would have been putting the needs and desires of my family ahead of my own. Having travelled in Europe on my own before, it was much less about efficiently ticking off tourist sites and more about adapting plans to best suit the varying priorities and energy levels of our travelling party.

As a result, we finished the holiday in good spirits, having had positive experiences, despite not necessarily doing as much as we all might have liked. Interestingly, I feel much better after this 3.5-week holiday with my wife and two daughters than I did after a month in central Europe on my own. Perhaps there's something about the power of shared experiences as well as the wisdom of my wife about what is realistic and beneficial!

This trip was also quite relationship-focussed, given the opportunity to catch up with some family and friends living in the UK. The original incentive for the trip was a wedding, and I was fortunate to spend some extra time with the bride and groom both before and after the wedding.

Kat & Isabel in ice-cream heaven

We also spent several days living with good friends Harry and Sarah and their two kids. Observing Harry's servant-hearted fathering had a significant impact on me.

Finally, attending a performance of Les Miserables with 14yr old Isabel and my sister Katrina was incredibly impacting to observe Jean Valjean risk his own life for the sake of his 'adopted daughter' Cosette.

Longer-term impacts
It's difficult to tell at this stage whether these events will result in significant long-term character development. I guess in some respects it depends on how much I determine to ingrain these insights into my lifestyle and value-set.

Whatever the case, this holiday has provided an opportunity to grow as a person. I hope that subsequent holidays will be even more intentional about opening up avenues for character development. This could look quite different from holiday to holiday. However, if this priority is firmly in focus, then I trust that even through 'leisure' these can be times of increased awareness, intentionality and satisfaction.

2011: A Summary

It's been 12 months since I last posted, so this is well overdue. This edition is a summary of the year 2011. It charts the return to Australia of our family from nearly three years in Samoa.

November-December 2010: A new job
OK, November to December 2010 is not 2011, but it's worth mentioning that I started a new job during this period. We flew into Sydney and  straight down to Canberra on the afternoon of 10 November to spend time with Heather's family. The next morning I had a telephone interview with the NSW Office of Water. I was offered the job of Senior Natural Resources Officer (Surface Water) and by 13 December I had started. It certainly didn't take long to be shaken out of Pacific time...

By this time, Heather was 30 weeks pregnant, which only slightly curtailed our adventurous spirit. I participated in the the Triple Triathlon with the Dixon family team (they generously gave me the relatively easy 13km final run leg). We also enjoyed some relaxation time with family Dixon in Katoomba between Christmas and New Year - Australia certainly has its fair share of beautiful places...

In Sydney, we stayed at my parent's house until their three-bedroom townhouse in Balgowlah became available to rent. It was on New Years Eve 2010-11 that we moved in and spent out first night as an independent family in Australia.

January-February 2011: New school and new life

January to February 2011 was always going to be big period for us. Isabel would begin high school in late-January and Heather was due to give birth on 5 February. Isabel also had her 13th birthday on 28 January (which turned out to be her first day at school!) and things would begin to pick up at my work.

Isabel began high school directly into Year 8 (second year) due to the differences in the schooling system in Samoa. She managed to get a place at Monte Sant Angelo college in North Sydney, a Catholic girls school. Rather than adopt the standard curriculum for schools in NSW, they use the International Baccalaureate Middle Years program for years 7 to 10 and then give students the choice of either the IB or the NSW Higher School Certificate for years 11 to 12.

Language learning is given a high priority, with Isabel choosing to study German. The school has an international and social justice focus, which matches well with our recent experiences working in development in Samoa. A friend of ours who teaches music there had recommended the school and so far we are really happy with it. Isabel quickly made new friends who seem to be very kind, generous and fun.

The other big event was, of course, Heather's growing bump. We had hoped that baby 'Kanoot' would delay its arrival until after Isabel's birthday and first week at school. Heather however didn't want to wait much longer than that! Kanoot's timing could hardly have been better.

At 5:25pm on Thursday 3 February 2011, a healthy baby girl was born to us. At 4.08kg and 56cm long, she was bigger than expected. It wasn't long before we named her Ava Marie Wrathall. At 9:30am the next morning, Heather discharged herself from hospital to spend time with our new daughter and sister in the comfort of our own home.

Of course, the subsequent few days were the hottest of the summer, with temperatures peaking at 41.5C on 5 February. My parent's air conditioned house came in handy that day...

March-August 2011: More firsts and the 100km Trailwalker 

The majority of this period was dominated by Ava's rapid growth and Heather's incredible endurance. It was exciting to see this dependent and sleepy little baby develop into an active and engaging child. During this period, Ava's curiosity and happy demeanor became more and more evident. She began rolling over after 9 weeks, sitting up unassisted at 4.5 months and doing an amusing commando crawl just before 6 months. As expected, us parents thought she was the most beautiful and advanced of the children we knew!

At the same time as caring for a demanding child, Heather was busily training and organising a team for the Oxfam Trailwalker in Sydney on 26-28 August 2011. This 100km event is undertaken by teams of four and is one of those extreme physical challenges that doubles as a fundraiser. Heather coordinated a group of women for regular weekend training walks in the months after giving birth. It was a pretty significant undertaking, but one that Heather thrived on and was supremely motivated by. The team achieved the feat in just over 30 hours and raised almost $4,000.

At the end of June, we also managed to take a week off to have a holiday in Fiji. My parents had previously arranged a trip to Lord Howe Island in January 2011 which we couldn't take due to Heather's late-term pregnancy (although Isabel had an amazing time there!). We were able to redeem the unused flights for a trip to Fiji and had a relaxed international holiday at a budget we could almost afford.

Ava loved the stimulation of a different environment and being able to crawl around with minimal clothing. Isabel enjoyed chillaxing alongside and within the warm pool water while Heather and I managed to do a bit of exploring further afield.

A particularly memorable experience was climbing up a steep, remote mountain to the north of Nadi with a local village guide. Heather once again demonstrated her endurance by reached the summit carrying Ava in a baby carrier the entire way up.

September-December 2011: New house and Heather's new job

The event that dominated the last part of 2011 was buying and moving in to our new home. We'd been looking at houses on and off for most of the year without much success. When Isabel and Heather first saw this house they both fell in love with it... along with dozens of other people.

We persevered through a prolonged contractual process, eventually made a low offer and amazingly it was accepted! We moved in on 6 November and continue to be amazed at how great a place God has blessed us with.

It has a beautiful leafy backyard, with an in-ground pool and a sizable grassy area in the vacant block next door. The kitchen-dining-living area is open plan and ideal for entertaining. We occupy three of the bedrooms while a vacant guestroom with ensuite is perfect for visitors. We're already trying to be hospitable and love sharing this space with others.

The other significant happening during this time was Heather's new part-time job with Relationships Australia. She started in December and is working on a community development program addressing areas of social need in the Pittwater area of the Northern Beaches. The job has flexible working hours, is reasonably close to home, and is alongside some passionate and competent colleagues in what seems to be a meaningful role.

As usual, she already manages to exceed in balancing the multifaceted and demanding areas of work and family. I am very blessed.